soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
