it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
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