There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
