Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
