you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
