My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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