you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
