okay pat passed out under dana's car
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
