I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
