I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
You're completely useless in the revolution.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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