Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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