omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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