Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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