The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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