I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
