i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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