Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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