your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
We got so high we made milksteak
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
