Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize