Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
