just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
nutella sex= disaster
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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