Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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