The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
