I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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