Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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