the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
