She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
