Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
