you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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