you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Randomize
