I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
