Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
