Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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