this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
