have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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