Got a toothbrush?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
