I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
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