there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize