i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
