well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
