Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
