This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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