this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
