She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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