You really coming over, don't trick.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
