Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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