Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
