She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
