Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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