Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
