What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
