you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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