You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
