Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Randomize
