I just made out with a guy for $7.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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