Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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