The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
