Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
