Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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