Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he shaved USA in his pubs
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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