Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
