at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
