I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
