He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just cropdusted the office
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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