Nicole vs. Life
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Are we still banned from the library?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
