They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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