I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
