Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
