Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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